


i'm all ready for healing

by tomhardad



Category: Suburra - La Serie | Suburra: Blood on Rome (TV)
Genre: (or as happy as you can be in suburra-verse), Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, brief mentions of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27135892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomhardad/pseuds/tomhardad
Summary: based on a tumblr prompt that said: "i didn't understand before, but i'm in love with you too," for spadeliano.
Relationships: Aureliano Adami/Alberto "Spadino" Anacleti
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	i'm all ready for healing

after isabel, livia, romolo and lele ( _oh, lele_ ) everything changes.

aureliano hardens, his body wound tight like a bowstring, his anger boiling beneath the surface of a cool exterior. he thinks about them every single day - casualties in a war he never wanted them to be a part of, other pieces of his soul lost forever.

spadino remains, though.

aureliano steps closer to where he is fast asleep on one of the vacant couches of the hotel, his face smushed against the pillows, his right hand dangling off the couch. 

aureliano still remembers the feel of those hands on his face when they kissed.

the unbidden thought makes him flush, moving away from spadi, his heart in his throat as sensations take over his body, his lips tingling at the mere _memory_ of it.

he should have never pulled away.

aureliano slips on his leather jacket and walks out of the hotel, away from spadi and those thoughts and those feelings. he lets his feet take him to a familiar place, sitting in the sand as he stares at the violent crash of waves on the shore, coldness seeping through his bones and making his eyes water.

he remembers sleeping with nadia just to numb the pain of losing everyone he ever loved, he remembers her hands running up his torso and along the curve of his neck, brings back the feel of her lips against his, soft and unexpectedly sweet as she kissed him. he remembers how he almost said spadi’s name when she kissed his neck and held him in her arms, a brief respite in the middle of a roaring storm.

aureliano sighs but it sounds like a sob.

he sees movement out of the corner of his eye, a small smile curling up his lips. spadino sits down next to him, wrapped up in his crazy overcoat, dark brown eyes staring at the waves ahead. aureliano hugs his knees tightly, clenching his jaw to keep the words he _longs_ to say at bay.

“nothing can stop us now,” spadi says, a barely inaudible whisper against the roar of the waves. “samurai is gonna pay, aureliano.”

aureliano shakes his head, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. “you’re gonna be a father now, spadi. you should worry about taking care of your son.” 

_you should worry about living a great life, spadi. please walk away._

spadi looks at him like he’s just said something absurd and aureliano has never wanted to kiss someone that badly before. “cesare is gonna be well taken care of, you don’t have to worry,” he says like it’s nothing and not a punch in aureliano’s gut. he _worries_ and he _loves_ and he wishes he could make spadi _see_ that. 

“but i do,” aureliano finally lets go, his gaze unflinching. spadi frowns so he clarifies. “i worry about you. i don’t want you to die for this.”

spadi’s jaw twitches and he looks down at the sand, his facade cracking. aureliano takes one deep breath and says, “i lost everyone-- _everyone_ i’ve ever loved in this shitty life, spadino. i don’t think i can risk losing you too.”

under the glow of the moon, spadi’s brown eyes glisten beautifully when he looks up at him again, lips parted as if he were about to say something but stopped cold, words forgotten in his throat. “i didn’t understand it before but-- i’m in love with you, spadi. there’s no one else i’d rather be with in this world, _no one_ ,” aureliano places his hand in the sand a mere inch away from spadi’s, his heart practically leaping off his chest. “ _only you_.”

he waits, barely breathing, _barely hoping_ as spadi searches his face for a sign that he might be tricking him. aureliano sees the quiver of his lower lip when spadi brushes his pinky against the back of his hand in the sand, waiting for him to come all the way, intertwining their fingers firmly, aureliano’s eyes falling shut for a brief second.

it feels like coming home.

“you’re an asshole, aureliano,” spadi is smiling - no, he’s _grinning_ \- and aureliano feels light for the first time in years.

“i might be but you love me anyways,” he moves closer to him until he can touch the underside of spadi’s jaw with his left hand, smiling when he leans against his hand.

“that i do,” spadi admits and aureliano pulls him in for a kiss that he never even thinks of pulling away from.

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from daughter's "human". 
> 
> follow me on tumblr i'm [@yusufnicolo](https://yusufnicolo.tumblr.com)


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